I was driving down the road yesterday on my way to take Nick to karate practice. I tuned out the loud chatter of the kids in the seats behind me and was in my own little reverie, thinking about the events of the day:
"Kids, it's time for breakfast."
"I don't want breakfast."
"Nick, please get off the computer."
"I don't want to get off the computer."
"Ashlee, please go to the potty."
"I don't need to go to the potty."
"Nick, please vacuum the family room."
"I'm too tired."
"Ashlee, please pick up your Barbies."
"But I'm going to play with them later."
"Please get dressed guys."
"But I'm watching a show."
"Go outside and play."
"But there's nothing to do."
"Let's walk up to the park."
"I don't want to go to the park."
"Nick, come and see these tiny baby frogs I found!"
"I don't care about frogs . . . I want to go home. This is boring."
"Nick, it's time for karate."
"I hate karate."
I'm leaving out the length of these conversations for brevity's sake (along with the foot stomping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth), but hopefully I've drawn a partial picture of the absurdity of my days since summer began. You know in those prison movies where the inmates are sent to solitary confinement for huge amounts of time and how it basically drives them mad? I was thinking that instead, they should just sentence each inmate to a summer alone with two children. The end result would be the same and I could get some free babysitting out of it. Coincidentally, it was right at this moment that I was coming up to a red light. The car in front of me had a single bumper sticker that read, "Some Days I Wish I Was A Missing Person."
I wonder where I can get me one of those . . .
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5 comments:
Okay, I am laughing out loud over here! Sounds so familiar! Your inmate plan sounds great, as long as you are okay with having convicted felons babysit your children. Maybe it would work out.
I love the comment, I don't care about frogs. So classic. Kitty loves frogs, she has become obsessed. Too funny and way too true.... those kids are funny.
holy crap! I totally relate now!!! I'm surprised you even have any hair left.
Ahhh, Summer. It's just so much fun! I have had so many conversations so similar to this. The countdown to Sept. 8 begins!
I know you wrote this like 10 years ago, but I pretty much have dropped off the face of the blog planet and am just now reading it. Are you sure those children were Nick & Ash and not Eli & Adam?
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